I know I wrote the entry on marrying a school teacher some time ago. That tells the story of us meeting, and getting together. But what makes two people stay together for thirty-four years?
|Key to a successful marriage:|
Just let her talk, guys.
I would be lying to you (and many reading this would know it) if I said there hadn’t been some rough spots. There have been; but somehow you work your way through it.
After the kids came, it all changed. Our family would have been more difficult to break up. Whatever lacking we had in our relationship with each other; we were both totally devoted to the well-being and upbringing of the two children God gave us. Whatever it took……financially, emotionally, time-wise, we were on the same page.
I remember another time when we said “whatever it takes.” It was the night after Loren’s accident; we lay in bed crying for the loss we felt and for Loren’s loss, but we said “whatever we have to do, we will do it.” Little could we have imagined how highly rehabilitated Loren would become; our imaginations took us to another place, but we were absolutely united in the resolve that we would do whatever we had to do to make sure he was taken care of as well.
I believe another quality that we both have developed over the years was loyalty. When we didn’t exactly feel love, we acted upon loyalty to each other. I can’t speak for Jerry in this particularly, but I felt that I was loyal to our legacy, our children and future grandchildren. Although it’s hardly comparable, I was influenced by a statement Rose Kennedy made in which she stated (Denise’s paraphrase) that one of the most important things to her was the legacy and influence she had upon her children and the future. She said this as she overlooked obvious flaws in her husband’s character; flaws which I have never had to even think about!
Jerry had other flaws. I have a few. But we both have gifts also, and the key to this whole business is realizing what they are and what they are NOT! We hire plumbers. I cannot even type that sentence without a big smile. However, if you need a painter, Jerry is the MAN! This is a learned talent. When we were engaged, Loren, Jerry and I were painting the house we had purchased. Loren and I were rolling the paint on all over the place (as we had many times in our home of origin!) while Jerry was painting up, then down, then up, then down. He got mad at us in our lack of perfection. We said “OK, fine, you do it,” left, and came back three hours later to find Jerry on the SAME WALL while ours was dry and looked perfectly fine. Jerry’s attitude improved, but his perfection is amazing. I dare you to find a mistake in my house.
|Taken at my Mom's|
80th birthday party.
Credit to fabulous
cousin, Sherri Callison.
Things change over time and we change with them. The first thing that comes to mind is my lack of cooking. I CAN cook, I am not the greatest, but as we entered the teen years in approximately 1998; it all changed. Our schedules were all over the place. Yes, I still think eating meals together is a good thing; but we got creative. When Jessica worked at Blimpie, we joined her on her break. We had many meals between ball games. Today, this me working from 10-2 thing has us all messed up, but I realize this is but a season, and it too will change someday.
I think that’s a key word…..seasons. As I age, I am more and more aware of the “seasons” of life. As I have heard many times, we (women) can have it all; we just can’t have it all at once. I think that’s a reasonable approach for all of us to take, and realize that each marriage goes through seasons.
For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, we vow to remain FAITHFUL. We’ve had all six of those scenarios and worse and/or sickness may still come to pass in the future. Faithfulness, perseverance and yes, stubbornness!
Happy Anniversary, Jerry!