I want to say a word about missing classmates. There are many who see the “missing classmates” list and they think “Well, the committee must not be working very hard because they should certainly be able to find so-and-so. Her sister lives in such-and-such,” and on and on. Here are several thoughts to keep in mind.
Your Reunion Committee does not know everyone and their family in a class of approximately 700 people. Although we do have a diverse group of 12 people, it’s impossible to know everyone.
Some examples of attempts to find people:
- There is a person on this list that I have personally written three emails to a mutual friend, called another mutual friend—only to have neither of them agree to give me the snail mail address. One offered a telephone number, but to be honest, I don’t want to spend hours on the phone hunting down people. So I do not have that person’s information to send a reunion invitation, although he lives in the area.
- I have personally written three emails to another classmate’s family members, to have none of them respond.
- Another individual, who was a close friend of mine; I did not hear from between 1981 and 2003, we reconnected in 2003 and spent five years corresponding, and then he seemed to drop off the planet. I have had another classmate look for him, as have I, among Social Security deceased records and thankfully he is not there (I don’t go to this much trouble for people I was not as close to). I wrote to his sister who is in another class and she did not respond and the letter did not come back. So sadly, for me, the connection is gone.
- There was another classmate that was in the area for a short time, but no one had information on this person, and he has since moved back “home.” We never were able to find this person.
We have resources available to use that we have never had before. We can google. We can narrow down by whitepages.com. I have personally followed up on all return mail with phone calls and emails until I hit a dead end.
But all of this said, there is a place where your sense of ethics takes over and something says to you “quit!” I had a situation recently. This person is not “missing,” but I wanted to encourage them to come to the reunion. I had work email, I had LinkedIn, and finally I made a call to the home phone number and got a message where I had to put in some “code” to even access the voice mail and leave a message. WHAAAT is going on there, I have no idea, but that is a huge STOP sign to me!
When you google “Fairborn High School Class of 1971,” the top link is Classmates.com and I think they pay something for that. The SECOND item is our web site, www.fairborn71.com. We are not hard to find and if someone wants to find us, they can. Thanks to our generous classmates, we are paid through 2022 which is beyond our 50th Reunion. There really is no excuse unless a person refuses to use the Internet. At some point we have to let it go.
In summary, it is ALL of our jobs to find those that are important to us. You may have a lead I don’t have. Follow it! As previously noted, I have made contacts that have not been responded to. Maybe they don’t want to respond to Denise Kline. Maybe they WILL respond to you!
Some people just don't want to be found. Or, if found, choose not to participate or to be polite about refusing (maybe like those wrong numbers who call you, and when you tell them they've got the wrong person, imply that it's somehow YOUR fault).
ReplyDeleteThen again, you do have your success stories. Me, for example -- I've lived within 30 miles of Fairborn almost the whole 40 years since we graduated and this year is the FIRST time anyone's ever contacted me about a reunion. Don't know whether I would have attended any previous ones, but my not knowing certainly sealed it. And yet here we are, and through you, Denise, I've reconnected with a good half dozen others I fully expected never to hear from again.
So, yes, I agree with your premise here -- if you read this and know someone whose attendance or regrets are not yet confirmed, encourage them to get in touch with the committee. It's free, it's (relatively) painless, and who knows -- you might end up with a happy reunion of your own you never anticipated!
Robert, I remember at about the 25th-30th year, our committee (and we as individuals) told ourselves, even before computer days, that if someone wanted to find us bad enough, it could be done. Back in the early days, the high school would help us by putting a note in my husband's box and when the Fairborn Daily Herald was privately owned, there was a woman there who was a contact for all reunions. She was a great asset.
ReplyDeleteToday we have google as I said and we are connected to the Fairborn City Schools site also.
And yes you are one of several success stories this time, proving that it never is really too late! I will add that three people have asked to be removed from our list and we have honored that. We would always re-add them later should their hearts change. (I would want a personal conversation before doing that, not an email!)